Konoha: Daily Life
by Tiggs Panther
Summary: Konoha, the hidden village of the leaf. Full of ninjas and battles. But what happens in the more everyday moments? Short, humorous looks at village life
1. Conversations in the Pub

**Konoha: Daily Life** - by Tiggs Panther  
Chapter 1: Conversations in the Pub

__

**Disclaimer:**  
Naruto ain't mine. Any familiar characters are similarly not mine. They, and the Hidden Village of Konoha, are the creation of Masashi Kishimoto. Anyone new is my fault. The ideas are, too. (I doubt anyone else would want to admit to them).  
Although major shout-outs must go to Fiona, Marc and Ven. All of whom are fellow Naruto-fans and whom I bounce my odd ideas off (and who sometimes bounce better ones back )

* * *

Konoha's main ninja pub was often busy of an evening. People came in to unwind, talk business or even to sound off about their superiors. Right now some of the Jounin assigned to the Genin teams were huddled around a corner table discussing their current charges. As usual some of the occupants of the surrounding tables were taking bets on exactly how Kakashi managed to drink whilst wearing his omnipresent mask. The contents of his cup were definitely going down but, somehow, noone could figure out what he actually did with the contents. Between the Sharingan and Genjutsu they thought he had an unfair advantage.

The barmaid was feeling rather uneasy. It was still only her first week in this particular pub and she was, understandably, still rather nervous about the idea of a bar-room brawl starting up in a room full of trained warriors. She let her hearing drift around the room, justifying to herself that if any of them really wanted to be unheard that they should have no problem hiding their conversations from a non-ninja.

In the table closest to the bar three parents, all Jounin at a guess, were discussing the drawbacks of having ninja-trained children.  
"So I was halfway through reading Aki the riot act," said one a shaven-headed man, obviously partway through a major rant. "And I was just about to tell her what her punishment was and, **POOF!** Hatstand!"  
"Heh," grunted the raven-haired woman sat next to him. "I guess they're onto Kawarimi no justsu then. Our Yoshi did the same thing this time last year."  
"Yep."  
"The twins tried that, too," commented the other man at the table, a redhead wearing a beaten and patched Chuunin vest. "Only when they sneaked out of the window there were two of me waiting for them." He grinned. "The good thing about the Academy is that if you aren't teaching them they are never sure exactly what you're good at."  
"You?" laughed the woman. "Good at Kagebunshin?"  
"Good enough to stop my kids bailing on me, mid-punishment. Anyway, you're hardly a scary parent. Why are you usually the one left to discipline your son?"  
"'Cos last time I let my husband do it it was _him_ who vanished mid-rant. Left a copy to babysit the kids and nipped out to play shougi with his old teammates. Only he had a little too much sake."  
"Well your husband is famous for that," the first man said, a chuckle in his voice. "He can hold his liquor and he can hold his Kagebunshin..."  
"...but he can't hold both at once!" finished the other two in unison.

One other thing that the barmaid managed to pick up from overhearing was the latest exploits of that Naruto kid. It was rather amusing hearing the difference between the ninja gossip and the regular word on the streets. The regular citizens of Konoha would say things like "He's not screwed up... yet," or, "At least he's not terrorising the streets as much anymore." Anything but admit to themselves that the kid was actually trying to make something of himself.

The other ninja, however, knew what had been involved to get him that far. That to graduate the Academy you had to be good enough. That, before this year, Hatake Kakashi had never passed a team. Sure many didn't think that Naruto would be a _great_ ninja, but they accepted that he made it - even those who didn't like it. Plus a lot of them were privately (and publically) pleased that they wouldn't be spending quite so much time trying to round him up to take him back to class.

"...and I still remember the time when the little menace found a statue of the Second Hokage and drew a huge pair of..."

* * *

__

This is another of my infrequently updated humour 'fics. I do have some other chapter settings that I defintiely want to bring up. I just think that a "behind the ninjas" look at Konoha life was in order.


	2. Shopping in the Hidden Village

**Konoha: Daily Life** - by Tiggs Panther  
Chapter 2: Shopping in the Hidden Village

__

**Disclaimer:**  
Naruto ain't mine. Any familiar characters are similarly not mine. They, and the Hidden Village of Konoha, are the creation of Masashi Kishimoto. Anyone new is my fault. The ideas are, too. (I doubt anyone else would want to admit to them).  
Major thanks must go out to my friend Fiona, with whom I regularly exchange ideas that we bounce off each other. She also heavily influenced some of this chapter. It's also her fault I'm writing more of this, as she keeps telling me to write more. ;)

* * *

When asked to identify the major buildings in Konoha most people (even those who aren't ninja) would point out the obvious. The Academy. The Hokage's residence. The main clan compounds. The hospital. The Hokage Faces Monument.  
The last one isn't even technically a building, but it still gets a mention.

People never seem to mention the shops, though. After all, it's a ninja village. People don't think of the shops unless prompted. Now if you _do_ ask about the shops then the answers are different. There are many places that people mention, and today they were all busy.

The queues by the Ichiraku Ramen stand were pretty long. It was a popular place anyway, but today it seemed to be busier than ever. It wasn't exactly surprising, though. Not only was it lunchtime but most of the Genin teams were all actually in the village between missions.

The waitress sighed, picked up three more large bowls of ramen and turned to face the customers. She cursed whichever gods had decreed that both Uzumaki Naruto and Akimichi Chouji would show up at the same moment. She hadn't stopped serving for ten minutes straight, and she hadn't _started_ on the rest of the queue yet.

Walking past the Yamanaka flower shop could be amusing at times. Every so often you would get a confused looking customer come out wondering exactly why they ended up buying more than they'd intended. And today was no exception.

The blonde young Yamanaka daughter was minding the shop between missions again, as she did on occasion. It probably didn't help that she was practicing using her feminine wiles to influence the male customers. Now although she'd never admit it out loud Ino did privately acknowledge that she currently lacked the sex-appeal that the older kunoichi could use. She did, however, have "cute" down to an aggressive artform. Very few could resist her in that mode.  
And where that failed, the family's preferred techniques prevailed.

We won't dwell on a certain bookstore where a certain Jounin was picking up his latest order.

The other main shop would be the second-hand charity stall. It was a sad fact of life in a ninja village that you get people selling clothing that their owner would never wear again, and that you get the widowed or orphaned needing to buy clothes on a severe budget.

You also get the occasional orphan selling clothing.

"Cleaned out another house, Uchiha-san?" asked the stall owner of the young man half hidden behind a large box of clothing. There was no verbal reply, so he just carried on with his next question. "Have you removed the fan emblems yourself this time?"  
"What do you think?" came the reply, as Sasuke held up a pair of needle-scratched hands. 

The only drawback to this sort of stall in Konoha was that, except for those who wore standard vest and leggings, most of the ninja tended towards very individual clothing. It could be very hard at times to find anyone who'd want to wear some of the stuff that came in.

Take, for example, one of today's earlier donations. It was a godawful ensemble in bright clashing colours that nobody in their right mind would ever wear.

On second thoughts.

"Oh, young Naruto. Could I interest you in..."

* * *

__

I definitely have more places I want to take this fic, I just have to remember to actually write them. ;)

And to anyone doubting that Naruto gets second-hand clothes, answer me this:  
Why else would a ninja wear something that conspicuous that needs its arms and legs rolling up? (That and how could he afford to shop anywhere else?)


	3. Where Kids with Weapons are the Norm

**Konoha: Daily Life** - by Tiggs Panther

Chapter 3: Where Kids with Weapons are the Norm...

_**Disclaimer:**_

_Naruto ain't mine. Any familiar characters are similarly not mine. They, and the Hidden Village of Konoha, are the creation of Masashi Kishimoto. Anyone new is my fault. The ideas are, too. (I doubt anyone else would want to admit to them)._

_Although some of the blame has to go to my friends who (truthfully) tell me I don't write enough._

* * *

Working at the Academy was a mixed blessing. On the one hand you were training up the next generation in ninja skills. On the other, well, I'm sure the punchline writes itself. Between planned attempts at cutting class and unplanned attempts at blowing the place sky high, at least the job could never be called boring - despite what some mission-based Chuunin would imply. 

Umino Iruka walked into the staffroom and, once out of sight of the students, held a tissue to his nose and slumped into the nearest chair. Teaching rudimentary Henge techniques carried a great risk, mainly when making at least a vague overview of the differences between boy-ninjas and girl-ninjas. If only there was a way to stop the giggling. Sometimes he was even tempted to use the Morino Ibiki method - stating that anyone wanting to _keep_ their differences better stop laughing.

_"And this picture here," Iruka said, attempting to draw on the blackboard, "shows what a grown woman looks like." Everything had been going well up to that point._

_"That's not right," piped up Konohamaru from near the back. "A grown woman looks more like _this_!" And, at that, promptly changed into a well-proportioned young woman lacking any clothing whatsoever. This was met by much amusement from his classmates, tempered with a (small) touch of embarrassment from his two co-conspirators._

Sometimes, just sometimes, he did find himself wondering why he'd allowed Naruto to pass. Then he though about what it'd be like if Naruto was around to "teach" the current intake of hellraisers. No, Naruto was doing better for the village as a Genin that he would be stuck as an Academy student.

* * *

Meanwhile, across town, the barmaid was heading in for an early shift. One of the drawbacks of working in a ninja pub was that mission-weary ninjas would often need liquid sustenance at just about any time of the day. This mean that shift-work behind a bar could easily cover any time of the day. 

Plus, sometimes, the journey in was nothing short of ridiculous. Even as a regular villager she could easily spot that the wall she was walking past had three patches that were definitely not the right material. Added to that she's already passed by seven rocks-with-feet, four square wheels, a cardboard dog and the worst impression of Hokage-statue she'd seen so far this year.

She sighed. It must be Stealth Training at the academy again.

* * *

_Yes, I know I was trying to mainly stick to non-major characters. I still am, though. If there are any eyes through which to look at the Konoha pre-nins, it's Iruka-sensei._


End file.
